The two people you meet in hell

East Hampton edition:

1. The guy with horseshoe baldness driving a Boxster. You know, if you put the top back up maybe you wouldn't be LOSING ALL YOUR HAIR.

2. The guy driving a big black Escalade...with a peace sticker on it. A PEACE sticker. Here's a tool who buys the biggest, most aggressive passenger vehicle on the road today. I have NEVER seen an Escalade not make some dumb-ass maneuver due to low visibility or just not giving a crap about smaller cars. They get about 12 feet to the gallon. We're at war to ensure a supply of oil from the Middle East. And this guy is going on about PEACE? We're DYING in Iraq to feed your grotesque half-car/half-truck abomination. Peace THIS, ahole.

This was, of course, all set off by the woman in big floppy straw hat, talking too loudly into her cell phone at the Amagansett IGA while flipping through the People Magazine that features that ahole Britney's pregnancy pix. Who. Cares.