Monday, August 9, 2004

Missing LuckyDog

In loving memory of LuckyDog.

Useless MapQuest directions of the day. Shirley-Hemphill.

Friday, August 6, 2004

Bush and Korsakoff's

had this all put together a few days ago, but I hit Fn-F5 to switch screen modes and experienced a hard boot. This behavior started after I installed an SP2 beta, and ended after I installed the latest Intel video drivers. But my blog stuff was lost to the ages.

Fortunately, I can recreate it all! The first part had to do with Korsakoff’s Syndrome. As you know, one of the great things about the Internet is that you can make unqualified medical judgments about public figures. Well, Bush might have Korsakoff’s Syndrome.

Let’s look at the causes and symptoms of Korsakoff’s, and compare them with Bush’s history.

Korsakoff's SyndromeBush symptoms

A brain disorder that is usually associated with heavy drinking over a long period.

Is an untreated alcoholic who just went cold turkey one day.
Difficulty in acquiring new information or learning new skills.Doesn't like to read newspapers or acquire new information.

Lack of insight into the condition. Even a person with great gaps in their memory may believe their memory is functioning normally.

Never admits that he's made a mistake or that his memory is wrong, even under direct questioning.
Inventing events to fill the gaps in memory. Reinvented the sequence of events that occurred on 9/11, insisting (impossibly) that he saw the first plane hit the WTC live on TV.
Apathy, in some cases, or talkative and repetitive behaviour in othersSat apathetically in a classroom for seven minutes when told that the second tower was hit on 9/11.

But wait, there’s more! The White House Pastry Chef was interviewed on the White House site last week. He made a couple of interesting observations:
The First Family, however, does not snack. They are usually very regimented on that. They eat meals at specific times and there is very little food served or eaten between meals which makes it easy for us to plan a schedule in the kitchen.

No, the President and his family do not have midnight snacks. They are very good at respecting meal time hours and do not eat between meals as you have to understand they have to be very careful with their diet most of the time.
Therefore there is no snacking and usually there is no food available if they wanted to snack.
So then, how do we explain the fact that the White House claimed that Bush choked on a pretzel a couple of years ago while watching a football game? Is it because the First Family really DOES snack? Or did Bush just enjoy a twelve-pack of MGD before reeling and smacking his forehead on the executive coffee table? No wonder his Korsakoff’s isn’t reversing itself!