Flying back

The lack of exercise is really getting to me now. Every day starts off sluggishly. After yet another night of insufficient sleep, I got up and got packed, figuring that my chances of joining the undead would increase for each minute I spent at the hotel. I headed out nice and early, figuring I’d wait at the Admiral’s Club and get a bit of email out of the way. Nope! They printed off my ticket, and it wasn’t 4B. It wasn’t even 5B. It was back in the middle of nowhere. Okay, so what’s the problem here? The problem is that AMERICAN SUCKS. I asked if I could at least get into the Club, but they have a new policy that only actual Navy admirals traveling on a full first-class fare can use it. You need to find efficiencies where you can.

I think someone just died at the airport. They just announced "Herb Jones, you have a call on extension 911, Herb Jones."

Today’s Sky Bistro meal is a mayo-soaked napkin. The gate map for O’Hare can be found on the page of the American Way magazine that a previous traveler ripped out and took with her. Today’s flying time will be annoying, no matter how long it takes. Today’s assclown is the AAdvantage reservations call-taker who boned me with the assurances of seat 4B. Your e-ticket record locator is SUXX0R. Today’s flight represents the last of a long relationship with TWA/AA. Delta, Continental, JetBlue, and United all fly to my most common destinations. As with all major products and services, I will now get angry at one company at a time until they’re all eliminated and I have to take Greyhound across country.

Today’s in-flight movie is “The Core,” a thriller about the core. Since the protagonists are on a dangerous mission, they have to keep taking attendance to make sure that they haven’t lost anyone.

“Rugged guy!” “Here.”
“Smart guy!” “Here.”
“Black guy!” “Here.”
“Woman!” “Here.”