Thursday, June 23, 2005

Macro flash

I just picked up a ring flash at B&H, and wasted time taking floral pix last night. Before I give up forever, I've been working on a full-spectrum site. Right now I have pink through green finished.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Identity theft

The NY Times is reporting about a surge in online identity theft.

"Want drive fast cars?" asks an advertisement, in broken English, atop the
Web site "Want live in premium hotels? Want own beautiful girls? It's
possible with dumps from Zo0mer." A "dump," in the blunt vernacular of a
relentlessly flourishing online black market, is a credit card number. And what
Zo0mer is peddling is stolen account information - name, billing address, phone
- for Gold Visa cards and MasterCards at $100 apiece.

So let's get this one straight. You can get someone's stolen personal account information for only $100. You just go to the site, give the thief your personal account information, and get someone else's. Sounds foolproof to me!

Monday, June 20, 2005

Duane Reade

I stopped in my friendly neighborhood Duane Reade drug emporium this morning to pick up a big-ass bag of Dove miniatures. I leave them out on my desk so that officemates can grab a quick pick-me-up by day, and mice can do the same at night. There are always four or five people in line there, because five of the six registers are evidently decorative like the cardboard computers in the IKEA rolltop desk displays.

I was attempting to avert my eyes from the guy in the billowing pants who was buying a package of Duane Reade hemmorhoid wipes ("compare with Preparation H wipes and save!") when I noticed a sign that was hanging above each register. "Vote here in the 1010 WINS Top 40 Newsmakers!" The sign helpfully gave a list of what can only be described as human trash. There was Jean Harris, Daniel Rackowicz, David Berkowitz, Sol Wachtler, Lemrick Nelson, Robert Chambers, Amy Fisher and Joey Buttafuoco, and so on.

I went up to the 1010 WINS site just to find out what was going on, and it turns out that this was the week you could vote for the most "notorious" newsmakers. The winners were:

1 David Berkowitz 2 John Gotti, Sr. 3 Joel Steinberg 4 Amy Fisher and Joey Buttafuoco 5 Bernie Goetz 6. Robert Chambers 7 Tawana Brawley 8 Colin Ferguson 9 Leona Helmsley 10 Lyndon LaRouche.

My question is who would actually go online and cast a vote in favor of these people for ANYTHING? Someone actually decided that they should favor Joel Steinberg with a vote? Even for a contest like this, it just feels repellent.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Latest Sharper Image innovation

I am truly impressed that people are paying $100 for a freaking WATCH WINDER.

Wear your glasses, kids!

This is a new ad series on the NYC subway. It aims to remind kids of how awkward they look and feel by giving the official OK to wear glasses at school. This, of course, makes it instantly NOT OK.

The caption reads: See how cool things look. Don't miss out--wear your glasses to school each and every day. COOL HAS A NEW LOOK

This is reminiscent of the posters in my high school: Share a book / Share a ride / Share the feelings deep inside / But never share a hat or comb / Or lice could make your head their home. Just reading that made us all want to go out and get lice because, well, anti-authority.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Weather Channel photo contest

On the last day I was in Orlando for TechEd, the outer bands of tropical storm Arlene passed overhead. I took a couple of photos and submitted them to the Weather Channel's "photo of the day" contest. Well, it turns out that everyone submits any old photo to this thing. I think that the rest of the photos on this page need to be disqualified for being a) not weather-related and b) shitty. Hey MORON! Why are you sending your lousy photos of Pussy the cat to the Weather Channel? Your cat stinks and is ugly. NO ONE CARES!

The contest.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Monday train idiots

The long winter months always make me forget the horde of Fire Islanders who descend on the 7:15 train every Monday between Memorial Day and Labor Day. Like the clover in my yard, they seem to have blossomed in special numbers this spring. This is a typical, unedited conversation:

Guy: "Are you going to New York?"
Me: "Yeah."
Guy: (pause) "How do you get to New York?"
Me: "The train will be here in three minutes. You just get on it and it goes to Penn Station."
Guy: "I only have an off-peak ticket. Is there an ATM here?"
Me: "No, just a ticket machine."
Guy: "Well, I only have seven dollars."

His only saving grace was that he didn't have a crappy-yap dog as a seatmate. But then I got to work today, felt reaaaaally lousy, and went home early. I got to Babylon and changed over to the Speonk train. This guy was standing there looking lost. As soon as the train doors closed, he announced to no one in particular:

Guy 2: "This train goes to Amityville, right?"
Everyone: "No, this is the train out east. Amityville's the other direction."
Guy 2: "Shit I gotta get off this train!"