Thursday, May 4, 2006

Subway horror stories

Beyond the normal gross stuff that happens underground, I have three particularly memorable incidents that have occurred on the subways over the years.

1. Several years ago, at Penn Station, this weird drifter was standing near the turnstiles muttering incoherently. I went through the turnstile, and looked back. He made eye contact with me, said "I'll burn you. I got flame," and held a lighter towards me at arm's length.

2. Looking down at the track of the E train, these two rats were chasing each other. Suddenly, they met in a warm embrace and started humping away atop the rail just seconds before the train blew into the station.

3. This past Tuesday, I was walking from the LIRR to the 1/9 train uptown. (It has actually been renamed the 1 train, because they realized that the 9 train took an identical route.) There's this one area near the stairs that smells like, well, an abbatoir. Every day. It just reeks. It's this closed room next to the elevator.

On Tuesday, the floor in the passageway was wet. There was almost an inch of water on it, and two workers had those big scrubber machines trying to move the water towards a drain. The room itself had sprung a big, garbagey leak. Water was squirting out from between every tile on the bottom 12" or so of the wall.

If anyone out there is actually reading this, and is from New York, I have a challenge. In the comments, tell me about your worst mass transit experience.


Peter Taylor said...

Yes, because stuff like that ONLY happens in New York City.

Here's my most horrifying New York City Transit story: once, this guy named Josh stumbled coming out of a train car, fell, and scraped his shin on the concrete. He had a big, gross, gaping, oozing, horrible wound on his shin that he insisted on showing to everyone he knew.

Joshua Trupin said...

That wasn't in New York City, DUMBWAD.

Jon said...

It's all the same to Peter. It's located in an area he won't go because of AIR TRAVEL.

Andrew Parsons said...

15 hour bus trip from hell. Thailand, 1992. Krabi to Bangkok.

Air conditioning was so cold, the vents dripped icy water. Of course, I was sitting directly underneath one.

Coach designed for long hauls, but still had standing room only people scattered up and down the central aisle.

Anywhere where the livestock can travel alongside the tourists is just simply "awesome"... maybe I mean "awful"?

A driver who drove like he needed to win a NASCAR race. Either that or he was late for his own wedding. Travelling on a bus, torrential downpour, travelling at anywhere from 35 to 55mph, in slimy, 6 inch deep mud riddled with ruts from previous crazed couriers of tourists and farm animals alike.