Saturday, April 7, 2007

Stolen candy, cheap

I'm walking to the E subway station on 52nd and 5th. In front of the branch library, there are several young gentlemen aggressively selling candy for some alleged fundraiser. Most people want no part of it, but the youths keep up their edgy-yet-jovial tone.

I pull out my Treo and pretend to look at the screen, because this usually discourages people from bugging me. It always works when the old VFW guy tries to sell me raffle tickets for a boat in front of Stop & Shop. Not in this case. The slightly-too-aggressive teen walks right up to me - RIGHT up to me - and asks if I want to buy his candy. As I ignore him and keep walking, he actually steps in front of me to pitch, but I keep walking and ignoring him. I bump him. Really, more of a brush-by. I keep on walking as if nothing happened.

Candy Teen completes his sales pitch with the perfect closer: "You just bumped me? Fucking say you're sorry. You're not even going to say you're sorry, you candy-ass son of a bitch?"

Well, in that case give me TWO packets of stolen M&Ms!


Jon said...

Describe these ruffians and clouts a bit better, if you would please. But please refrain from using the same descriptives that this furniture company decided to use for their leather products.

Anonymous said...

Chicken. bawk Bawk BAWK! BAWK!