Today's my birthday. You know what I hate about birthdays? It's my special day! Everyone, be nice to Josh on his special day! Well, what's special about it, exactly? Everyone gets one. If a person means something to you, you should treat them nicely every day, not just as a special birthday treat. Guess what? My special treat is that I get to be a crab all day, as you can see.
And also, there's a huge pair of men's briefs on the sidewalk next to the Bay Shore LIRR station. Railroad officials have assured me that they'll be moved by nightfall. I'm keeping an eye on this developing situation.