I took a walk to the Radio Shack on Broadway and 56th during lunch today. While I was inside, these two guys walked in. They first asked the clerk where they could get a small instant camera, because they were about to go see Letterman. She pointed them towards the Duane Reade. They said "the what?"
Then one of them said "can you get beer at the Duane Reade? We just got here from Canada. Where can you get beer?" As part of that fake "be nice to tourists" thing we do here, I told them to look for any store with a bunch of flowers outside. Go in and ask find beer.
I then continued to Ranch One, that lusciously filthy fast food outlet next to Letterman's theater. A woman in front of me spilled half her fries on the floor. I told her that the five second rule was in effect, but she wouldn't pick the damn things up and eat them.