Bush visits Bay Shore; Edina smells

I just found out that the president will make a brief visit to Bay Shore on Thursday. This is exciting, but I can’t think of a good way to commemorate his visit without having my head cracked open by a "Free Speech Cinder Block." It’s surprisingly hard to paint “Bush sucks dick” on your own back with poster paints.

Edina the dog is close to losing out under the terms of my own personal “three strikes for pets” law. Since I carried her up the stairs to bed for a couple of nights, she now expects the royal treatment all the time. Tonight, she didn’t get it. I just didn’t feel like it – she’s heavy and she smells.

Edina gets to the top of the stairs, walks into the nearest bathroom, and craps on the floor. The ten steps obviously exhausted her digestive tract, and she just plopped one right then and there. As you know, nothin’ says lovin’ like a pile of hot dog crap on a tile floor. Tomorrow we’re going to compromise – I’m going to kick her fluffy little ass up the stairs.