Mark Melberry

Tonight was the last game of the season for the Islanders. They lost in overtime to the Tampa Bay Lightning, and afterwards patted themselves on the backs for a good effort. Well, that's just peachy. We've got the end of the season, a potential lockout next year, an co-owner (Sanjay Kumar) in deep trouble, and whispers of contraction. There's a slight chance that this might have been the last game the team ever plays.

If not, there's always Mike Milbury to complain about. Sure, the team is back in the playoffs now after seven years wandering the sand traps at Bethpage Black. But there's still the nagging sense that he doesn't know what he's doing, a sense that's only enhanced by the fact that he doesn't know what he's doing. And he has a weird spell over Charles Wang, the team's major owner. When Wang finally does do something about this languishing team, chances are he'll ask Milbury for the name of a good replacement. Milbury will say "Mark Melberry," and then we'll have to suffer through five years of Milbury wearing a comical fake moustache and speaking in an exaggerated British villain accent.