Thursday, July 21, 2005

CVS security

I just dropped by my local CVS drug store to pick up some essentials. A Diet Coke. Some batteries. A clock radio. Ear drops. Orange juice. Some peroxide. You know, the essentials.

I paid for my drug-like products and headed back to my car. As I passed through the doors, a weak beeping noise started to surround me, as if it emanated from the building itself. I paid it no heed and continued towards my car.

When I was about six feet from the Subaru, I heard a weak voice behind me. "Sir? SIR??" I turned around to see the pimple-faced clerk standing outside the door with that look of vacant urgency so common to CVS clerks.

I called back "What's up?"

He said "Sir, you know the alarm just went off."

I shrugged and replied "So you need to fix it then," and got in my car. I looked back and he was standing there with a different look of vacant urgency, one that called out "If so much as one stick of Trident is missing from this store, they're going to beat us with the blood pressure machine hose again."

More importantly, since when did this become my problem that CVS has installed a faulty security system at their store? It doesn't matter to me whether the gate is malfunctioning or the clerk just failed to deactivate the theft control device in my Diet Coke - it's still not my duty to allow a store clerk to search my personal belongings because their alarm is broken.

Plus, I get to keep all the Coppertone and feminine protection products I hid in the back of my t-shirt as I walked out of the store!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think he wanted the goods in your pockets that you hadn't paid for.

Thief.

Anonymous said...

He didn't know that you weren't stealing anything when the alarm went off.

Joshua Trupin said...

So then why didn't he ask me to return to the store with my bag? Not that I would've, because I owned everything in it.

peter taylor said...

Ownership is such a racket, man. How can anyone really "own" anything?

Karma thief.

Anonymous said...

Thief.