Saturday, August 27, 2005

The two people you meet in hell

East Hampton edition:

1. The guy with horseshoe baldness driving a Boxster. You know, if you put the top back up maybe you wouldn't be LOSING ALL YOUR HAIR.

2. The guy driving a big black Escalade...with a peace sticker on it. A PEACE sticker. Here's a tool who buys the biggest, most aggressive passenger vehicle on the road today. I have NEVER seen an Escalade not make some dumb-ass maneuver due to low visibility or just not giving a crap about smaller cars. They get about 12 feet to the gallon. We're at war to ensure a supply of oil from the Middle East. And this guy is going on about PEACE? We're DYING in Iraq to feed your grotesque half-car/half-truck abomination. Peace THIS, ahole.

This was, of course, all set off by the woman in big floppy straw hat, talking too loudly into her cell phone at the Amagansett IGA while flipping through the People Magazine that features that ahole Britney's pregnancy pix. Who. Cares.


Jon said...

Hummer gets worse mileage than an Escalade. You really should learn not to over-exaggerate. Plus, if he's on the Isle, he's one of your people. You should try talking to him to make him understand the error of his ways.

The Porsche description was eerily familiar to this side of the country. Balding men who cannot afford Carreras driving the Porsche made for women.

Peter Taylor said...

You're missing out on the third guy that you meet in hell. It's the fat guy with varying levels of baldness and a porn star goatee driving a minivan. Yes, the same fat guy who thinks that he's a badass because he's "big" and thinks that because he shelled out the extra dough for the "sport" option on the van he's driving a sportscar.